What is the Jewish view point of having adult children living at home with parent(s)?

As far as I understand Jewish law, adults are adults, and are free to make financial arrangements as they wish (within the parameters of Jewish law). Even adult children, however, are obligated in the commandments of kibbud and yir'ah (loosely, honor and awe or fear). That means that the adult child must see to the parent's needs (if there are any); the classic list is to assure that the parent is fed, clothed, and is able to get out and about.

 

Yir'ah is about treating the parent as if that person had the ability to punish us harshly for our misdeeds (even if that's in practice no longer true). Classic examples are not sitting in the parent's place, not contradicting the parent (and, certainly, not yelling at that parent), and not even taking it upon oneself to show that the parent is right about something (part of our awe is to feel that the parent doesn't need our help). Even when the parent is transgressing the Torah, a child has to point that out obliquely, not directly (I think I learned... or, "didn't you teach me...").

 

Parents are allowed to forego these rules, but these are some of the issues a child must take into account when interacting with a a parent. The Talmud tells of a parent acting in ways that were infuriating to almost all people, saying that a child is nonetheless required to let it pass without reacting in any prohibited ways (such as by yelling at the parent).

 

This is true of all children, not just those who live in their parents' house. But it seems to me likely that there are more opportunities for things to go wrong when the parents and children are together more often. On the other hand, the child who lives with the parents also has more opportunities to be involved in helping fill the parents' needs, fulfilling the very valuable commandment of kibbud av va-em, honoring one's mother or father.

 

It's a balance, like so much of life. A continuing close relationship brings opportunities and stresses, and the child (and parents) involved should weigh how it comes out, on balance.

I don't think there is any specific Jewish view point on this subject. Children, regardless their age, are required by halakha to honor their parents ("Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long on the soil that the Lord your God has given you" (Exodus 20:12) "kibud av v'em and if needed to provide for their outcome in old age. This certainly also applies to children living in the house of their parents. 
On a general level - it is especially important to be sensitive to the possible tensions that can arise when adult children who might have had a household of their own for many years move back in with their parents. We all have our little meshuggas and these can turn into points of tension. 

In this day and age it is not uncommon to find adult children living with their parents.  There are many reasons for this.  For some, these adult children have special needs and require the continued attention of their parents.  For others it is economic- the adult children might find themselves in graduate school and to reduce their cost of living decide to live at home, or the adult children might be saving money in order to buy their first home or find themselves employed but at a fraction of what they might have made before the economy took a nosedive.  These are just a few examples, and each situation is unique.

 

Jewish text and tradition can provide some insights into parental and child responsibilities are to one another.

 

From Torah we learn that fathers must circumcise their sons on the eighth day (Genesis 17:10-14), parents may not sacrifice their children to foreign gods or our God (Leviticus 20:1, though I hope this is not an issue!), parents must educate their children (Deuteronomy 11:19).  Similarly, children also bear responsibility toward their parents.  Children must honor their parents (Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:15, Leviticus 19:1-3), and support them if they are impoverished (Jerusalem Talmud, Kiddushin 1:7).  The Talmud continues to develop the duties and responsibilities of both (Mishnah Kiddushin 1:7, Babylonian Talmud Kiddushin 29a), some of which are based on gender distinctions (which I will not address here), including fathers are required to teach their sons a profession/trade.  In this way we see that the “obligations” of the past must be reframed for the now.

 

In Judaism children “come of age” at what is now considered to be rather young, 12 1/2 for a girl, and 13 for a boy.  Certainly we don’t consider them “adults” in the sense that they should be out of their house and living on their own.  However, perhaps we can use this a model for Jewish life and living in modern times.   We see bar/bat mitzvah as a symbolic step toward an evolving maturity, knowing that this is ritual does not equate to adulthood.  There are other stepping stones along the way that, with parental help, aid in a child’s physical and emotional development: high school graduation, possibly additional schooling, driving, dating, friendships, etc.  Parental obligation to educate children should be understood as broader than simply paying for a degree (and teaching your son a trade is not in keeping with modernity); rather, as parents, we hope to encourage greater responsibility for oneself as well as a sense of independence.  

 

When an adult child lives at home both parties should appreciate the reasons behind it.  Parental obligations no longer include cleaning the child’s room or laundry.  Yet having the adult child live at home can be part of that ongoing development in this complicated and expensive world we live in.  Honoring one’s parents could include paying rent or utilities or demonstrating savings so the son or daughter can work toward moving out.

 

Parents are seen as partners in God's creation of each human being; therefore, to honor one's parents is to honor God. Similarly, to display disregard, disrespect, or violence toward one's parents is to do so to God.  It is a delicate balance and we pray that both parents and children, of all ages, are able to nurture and care for one another with love and respect.